
It can feel romantic at first, but over time it invariably fails to meet either partner's needs. "I can't live," wails the singer, "if living is without you." It sounds so tragically deep to say that losing your lover's affections would make life unlivable-but have you ever been in a relationship with someone whose survival truly seemed to depend on your love? Someone who sat around waiting for you to make life bearable, who threatened to commit suicide if you ever broke up? Or have you found yourself on the grasping side of the equation, needing your partner the way you need oxygen? The emotion that fuels this kind of relationship isn't love it's desperation. Only if you and your beloved can honestly say them to each other is your relationship likely to thrive.

But these are "meat loves salt" commitments, as necessary as they are unconventional. Real love, real commitment, does the same thing.Įach of the following five statements is the polar opposite of what most Americans see as loving commitment. Salt is unique in that its taste doesn't cover up the food it seasons but enhances whatever flavor was there to begin with. It also helps us know when we're making that mistake. This story survived throughout Europe for a very long time because it is highly instructive: It reminds listeners that in matters of love, choosing style over substance is disastrous. "All along," he cries, "it was my youngest daughter who really loved me!" The daughter reveals herself and all ends happily (except in King Lear, where pretty much everybody dies). The king eats a few tasteless mouthfuls, then bursts into tears. Recognizing her father, the daughter asks the cook to prepare his meal without salt. He seeks refuge in the very house where his third daughter is working as a scullery maid.

The two older sisters deliver flowery speeches of filial adoration, but the youngest says only "I love you as meat loves salt." The king, insulted by this homely simile, banishes the youngest daughter and divides his kingdom between the older two, who promptly kick him out on his royal heinie.


In a folktale that has been retold for centuries in many variations (one of which is Shakespeare's King Lear), an elderly king asks his three daughters how much they love him.
